Top 5 Books

5. Wetlands - Charlotte Roche

So this book is a very, very interesting one. Originally written in German, its title Feuchtgebiete translates literally as 'wet areas' and refers to the author's vagina. It is a partly autobiographical novel which is narrated by a girl, Helen, from a proctological ward in a hospital while being treated for an anal fissure. Essentially throughout the novel, Helen details her fascinations with the genital region of her body. She obsesses over every secretion, every fluid, every anatomical part of herself. The novel goes into extraordinarily explicit detail of her thoughts and activities. So... why do I like this novel, indeed, why is it number five on this list? Mentally and constitutionally I am a very strong person. It takes an awful lot to offend, upset, scare or trouble me. This is the only text (print, film, visual or otherwise) which I have ever had to put down while reading because I physically could not bring myself to read anymore, which is amazing. The book really has very little point to in terms of the traditional aspects of a novel; plot and character. The plot underlying the sexual exploits is rather unoriginal and the character of Helen has massive potential that isn't developed nearly enough. Essentially, it is a conceptual novel. What makes this book wonderful are the fascinating ideas it brings up about the way we both appreciate and are disgusted with natural parts of our own bodies. Every possible taboo regarding personal hygiene and human anatomy is smashed in this book, and it really serves to expose not only our bizarre hate of these natural parts of ourselves, but the ingrained sexist attitude that both men and women have towards vaginas and female anatomy. While I mentioned that I'd never had to put down a book in disgust before, I can assure you it was just for a quick break, usually an hysterical laughing fit and a text message to a friend who gave the book to me along the lines of, 'I can't believe she sucked the blood and juices of her surgically removed anal fissure off her fingers!'. A very confronting and intense read, but short and sweet and phenomenally interesting. Not for those with a weak constitution!

4. Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling

I figure this post can apply to all seven books in the Harry Potter series. Bending the rules a little bit... but screw you, I make the rules! So I think I can assume we all know the story of Harry Potter either from the films or the books (but if you haven't read the books, there is something very wrong with you), so I have no need to detail that. In fact, I don't think I really even need to explain why these books are on this list. I've never read any other books where I have become so immersed in another world. There have been times after reading these books where I have forgotten I'm not actually a wizard. One time I remember seriously thinking that using the lumos charm would be a good idea. But then, we have light switches for that.

3. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and

Through The Looking Glass (and What Alice Found There) - Louis Carroll

Both of these books, much like Harry Potter, can be lumped into one unit. And in fact, due to their brevity, they often are. Both are regarded as classic novels, and most people have read them, have had them read to them or have seen one of the many, many film adaptations. What is wonderful about this book is that it is so outrageously absurd that it can mean almost anything, so everyone who reads the book will read it in a completely different light. If you've never read the books but have seen the Disney film (which is unfortunately the position most people seem to be in) you should definitely read the books. Very different to the Disney film, which is very Americanised and patronising. Part of the appeal of the very broad ways in which these books can be interpreted is the array of adaptations of them that are out there. My favourite by far is American McGee's Alice - a computer game which sets the story in a horrific Wonderland, where Alice is self-destructive and psychotic and must kill everyone to reach the Queen of Hearts, a scary worm monster, whom she must defeat to save Wonderland and herself.

2. In the Skin of a Lion - Michael Ondaatje

I studied this novel in Year 12 for HSC Advanced English, for the Critical Study of Text component of the course. Initially I hated it, but once I was introduced to postmodernism as part of studying this novel I fell in love. I don't really have a lot to say about why I love the book so much. I think it is just a fabulous example of excellent storytelling. Ondaatje's writing is eloquent, exquisite and beautiful. I remember being astounded when someone commented on the use of swear words in the novel... I hadn't even noticed they were present as they were so seamlessly interwoven into the text... typically I would be excited to read swear words in a book I was studying for school, so it was quite amazing I hadn't even noticed they were there. And who could forget the sex scene in the kitchen...

1. Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell

I'm not quite sure why this novel has stuck with me so fast. I think that it is essentially because it's a futuristic novel painting a terrifying picture of humankind without using science or paranormal/extraterrestrial as a catalyst for this... it is based purely on the fact that humans can be shit. Very shit. Parts of this book are very tough reading (one scene in particular when Winston reads from a book of propaganda to Julia is quite dry. Orwell abandons being figurative and uses Winston to simply read out the point he is trying to make in the most blatant way possible for pages and pages and pages), but nonetheless the book is creepy and fantastic. One of the scariest parts of reading this book is noting how things in this fictional futuristic totalitarian world are actually now a part of our everyday lives. One has to wonder how many more parts of this story will come into being...